I didn't know how to begin, so I got my book and decided to base my essay on the "Reading Group Guide" in the end of the book. I hope you don't mind, I'll probably do the same thing with my other essays. It's a bit hard to just choose a topic by myself and talk about it. Anyway, here it goes:
Who did you identify with the most? Did you see parts of yourself in any one specific character?
Charlie. Don't give me that "You just wanna be the main character" bullshit because that's not even a thing. Ok, maybe it is, but fuck it. It is a bit obvious why I can relate to Charlie, but I will explain nonetheless. He is very confused and sensitive. I tried to pretend that I was strong for a while, but the truth is that I'm sensitive as fuck and I feel other people's pain. There's a moment when Charlie says something like, "there's too much pain. Make it stop" and I couldn't relate more. This world is so fucked up. People are killing people for no reason, some think that rape is not the rapist's fault, but the victim's, people blame innocent people... I mean, what the hell? How can I make it stop? Or, how can I stop caring? Well, I fucking can't. Because if I do, I'll feel numb and what's the point of living if you're not actually living, but only existing? Ya feel me, nigga?
So, back to Charlie, I feel him. Do you remember when he goes all nuts and his parents find him naked in the living room, before he wakes up in the hospital? I went through something like that. Except I wasn't naked. And I didn't wake up in the hospital, because my parents are against that shit. I cut my wrists once. Don't get me wrong, though, I didn't want to kill myself. Not at that moment, at least, no. So, I locked myself in the bathroom and cut my left wrist with a razor blade. My mother started calling me from the hallway. I panicked. I did not have the strenght to get out of there and pretend, like I had so many times before, that everything was okay. So I just unlocked the door, opened it and stared at her. It didn't take long for her to see my wrist bleeding and she took me to the living room, where my dad was asleep on the couch. She started crying, I started crying, it was just a big fucking mess. I wanted to say that I was sorry, but I wasn't really. And in the book, in the moment Charlie's parents find him in the living room, I can relate. I like to believe we felt the same way; powerless, just real tired of this bullshit. Out of control. And Charlie did get out of control very easily, so I think that's why I relate to him a bit too. Neither of us have real problems in our lives, but we're lawyers of the lost causes and we feel other people's pain. Maybe we were born to suffer and that's our big 'mission'. If that's true, well, it sucks.
2. Discuss Charlie's character. Is he sympathetic? Would you be friends with Charlie? Why (not)?
I think I've discussed this a lot already, but yeah, I do think he's sympathetic. He's also empathetic. Empathy is a big part of him.
Well, I'm not sure. It feels like too much of a responsibility to be friends with someone like him, who would most likely take a bullet for you instead of living his own life, but at the same time, he'd be the most loyal person you'd ever encounter. You'd also be always wondering if you would ever get to see him again or if he'd kill himself after you left.
3. What do you think kept Charlie from participating when he entered high school? What held him back? Have you ever felt the same way?
Charlie had already seen a lot of suffering in the world, he was a watcher, not a player. He thought he'd be safer watching, because once you enter this sick game some people call life, you better hope for the best, but expect the worst. He was afraid of life and I understand why. Yes, I have. I still do.
4. Discuss the following passage: "You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things."
Allow me to go full ignorant here and just say, you can do whatever the fuck you want to do. Or don't want to do, in this case. What you shouldn't do, though, is blame it on people. If I don't feel like living my life, that's fine, my problem, but I can't say it's your fault, because I am helping you live your life. That sounds like bullshit. Also, love is when you help people get where they want to. You don't have to stop living for that to happen. Recalibrate your morals, Charlie.
5. The Perks of Being a Wallflower grapples with a complex, universally difficult stage of life. What reflections did it inspire about your own life? What parts of the story resonated most deeply with you?
It was like seeing myself from a different perspective with some slightly particular changes. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. It changed something in me, made me understand myself better, but I can't say it made me feel better. I can't say yet. Maybe one day, but not today.
